Well, so it’s Friday, what a lovely surprise. No wonder, yesterday, a friend was nagging about making plans for the weekend. I am such a bad friend! I told him to chill and take it easy (thinking he was asking me on a Wednesday); no need for plans, I said (If he dies, he dies*).
Well now I get the urgency in his petition for an answer, problem is, I still have no idea what I want to do at night. I just don’t feel like going out to a club or a bar… OK, I have not officially told you (followers and random Web people) but I am, for the time being (and probably the rest of my life): single.
Yes, yes, yes. Single. Again.
And so, the going out to bars takes on another meaning. When you go with friends and somewhere in the world you have a boyfriend, well then you go, have a few drinks, chat, laugh and, eventually, return home (joyful and relaxed).
When you go as a single person, it is just a mess, even when you don’t really want to meet someone. You worry about makeup and looking nice, putting perfume on. You are aware of those extra pounds; feel bad about eating cake the day before. You regret never learning to do those nice hair braids. You compare yourself to other single women, you count the possible single men in there; you imagine what it would be like to be dating them and, when you realize that you don’t feel like dating anyone of them, a little panic creeps into your bloodstream. All of this, of course, is happening, while a friend is telling you random events about his day, so, you have to pretend to not be having a crisis (of the I-am-never-going-to-be-in-a-relationship-again type) and to be listening. It’s exhausting.
But then, sure, if you are single and home on a Friday night another kind of crisis comes along. So, I guess, Fridays are meant to be suffered by single people everywhere; unless, yeah, you challenge all odds and sanity and find yourself a date. But that is not going to happen. Not for me. Not tonight. It's madness and I am not ready for it.
I am ready for a song.
This is Blind Pilot with Go On Say It (video directed by Wyatt Garfield)
* Sorry, couldn’t help it, yes, I cited Ivan Drago (from Rocky IV; written by, directed by, and starring Sylvester Stallone). There is a long background story to why that phrase is in my mind (that involves my BFF, his odd memory and weird sense of humor), but this blog is not ready for such epic recount. Anyway, it’s Friday! Perfect day for a silly quote!